April 14, 2008

Why I Will Never Become a Sens Fan

In eight years in living in Ottawa as a big hockey fan, I have never liked the Ottawa Senators. Even through several relatively successful years, and a Stanley Cup run that came up just short last season, I never cheered for this team, or felt any inkling of excitement for their success. Even while my Habs missed the playoffs repeatedly, I could never bring myself to like the Sens in their stead.

I almost felt sympathy for them this year for enduring one of the most incredible collapses in hockey history, entering the playoffs as the underdog in a season they began with an astonishing thirteen straight wins. I wanted them to put up a fight against the Penguins, and maybe even advance to the second round. I wanted them to be at least somewhat competitive; I didn't want them to be completely embarrassed by Crosby, Hossa, Malkin, and the rest of the Pittsburgh team.

But they brought on the embarrassment themselves, with what must be the worst introduction to any sporting event in the history of the universe. I didn't like the Sens to begin with, but now I'm not sure I can ever like them, after this ridiculous performance.

I could hardly endure two minutes of this.

If you're going to do something incredibly stupid in front of twenty-thousand people, you should probably at least make sure your microphone is working properly and that your costume fits.

Whoever came up with that idea should be fired, and forced to eat Diamond Shreddies for a year. That might teach them a thing or two about marketing.