April 01, 2007

ill relevant opinions

It's been over a month since I posted here. In my defense, daylight savings time hit several weeks earlier this year, so the month of March was an hour shorter than usual.

During this hiatus, I thought to myself, "what am I missing?" And now I know. There was a certain edge that was missing. A rage, if you will. The sort of rage that is best expressed through convoluted rap lyrics. So here goes; as of today, Irrelevant Opinions has gone ghetto, and none o'ya can say nothin' to make me change my mind, dawg. An' from now on, ya can call me MC Slam.

yo .. one two .. check one two

yo, we'z back and we gots a new attitude
so y'allz best sit back, expressin' your gratitude
for deze opinionz, clever and astute
if you don't like 'em, yer gonna get da boot
cuz deze rhymez keep comin' an' flowin'
a real sight to see when mc slam gets goin'
i keep rhymin', ain't no sign of slowin'
flyin' rhymez like some kinda boeing
yeah, we'll rap, through thick an' thin
so grab a coffee, and roll up da rim to win
an' if you loze, and ya ain't feelin' cheery
express your melancholy at target theory
dats da place to go when yer feelin' weary
breakin' down like my chevy cavaliery
so listen to me an' my cheezy ebonics
i ain't hooked on dope, yo, i be hooked on phonics
so keep readin', you an' yer minionz
keep readin' deze irrelevant opinionz
y'allz be thinkin' dis blog waz dead
but deze new rhymez give me mad street cred
no more bloggin' 'bout bugz in my cereal
now i'm goin' wit' da gangsta material
no more expressin' my irrelevant viewz
an' droppin' random links to cbc newz
now i be bloggin' 'bout drugz an' booze
while i pump my funky basketball shoez
if ya don't like it, don't try to sway
me away from my amazin' new bloggin' way
ya better not be hatin', ya better not provoke
ya better understand dis be an april foolz day joke
so y'allz best follow yer noze an' wiggle yer toez
cuz everyone knowz da rhymez we compoze

aight man, let's get outta here
w0rd to your brother

Update 4.1.2007: Special thanks to Google, for their new free broadband service which allowed me to post this.


  1. Assalaamu'alaykum

    Brother be droppin' rhymes like ya wouldn't believe! Ghetto fabulous. This one has to go down in the IO's classics.

    Gotta love, "so listen to me an' my cheezy ebonics
    i ain't hooked on dope, yo, i be hooked on phonics"

    Really glad to see you've got your umph back.. :) - Keep on rhymin'!

    *When something's ill, it's like "woah!"*

  2. Bismillah

    Whassup dawg?
    I'm likin these beats.
    I dont have the talent;
    I'm not wid da street - lingo
    I know this blowz,
    but this homey got me rhymin'
    an i just don knowz - where
    it's goin'.
    All i know it's flowin',
    n' if you stop me now,
    y'know i'll be mowin'
    yo ass
    like it's grass.
    Yeah baby, that's crass.
    But i know y'all fo'give.
    [If y'all wanna live...]
    Hey now!
    I'm just messin' wit ya.
    Chill dawg!
    Don go stressin' wit ya.
    All i gotsa say - is
    dis blog has gotsa stay,
    else my good man,
    dell be hell to pay!
    Cos fo' sure no other guy
    cud get me rhymin' on the fly,
    like my brotha, Faraz bhai.
    He aint no quitta.
    So dont give us no fitna.
    You best keep scribin', else
    i'm diatribin' yo punk ass,
    n' you won know what hit ya.
    So, much love for da gangsta,
    even tho he just a pranksta.
    True wisdom is hard to find,
    but i was guided here
    by Ar-Rabb, Most Kind.
    So peace on you bro
    don let da haters stem yo flow.
    Y'all know it,
    irrelevance is just state of mind.


  3. *Blinks*
    *Not sure whether to laugh or cry*

    Ummmm... yeah. That's all I can say.

    *Stares some more and starts backing away slowly*

    And I thought I was being affected by March Madness!

  4. Yo AM! Hate da game, not da playas, aiit? Peace... ;)

  5. Ok this may be the one thing us non-Canadian borns are quite incapable of. he he. Good stuff.

  6. As funny as your "rhymez" are, I was completely floored by Google's new broadband service... hehe.

  7. Hmmmm... interesting I must say!

    Here's a thought, trying reading that with a scottish accent, some how I think YER GUNNA find it works just as well :-P

  8. Farzeen: Wa'alaykum assalam,
    Not sure where the umph went or if it's entirely back, but this was at least amusing to write.

    iMuslim: I'll promise to not write something like this post again if you promise not to write such a reply. :)

    But seriously, those are some pretty interesting lyrics; I've never seen the word "fitna" used in a rhyme before.

    AnonyMouse: I won't blame you if you chose to cry instead of laugh.

    Saira: It's really not hard, anyone can do it - just make up dumb words and make sure the last syllable of any line matches the last syllable of the previous line. Voila.

    Nauman: Google never ceases to amaze me. Though I'm still waiting for Google Romance to pay some dividends.

    Shireen: I'll take your word for it. I couldn't pull off a Scottish accent without sounding like silly. Then again, silliness is a foregone conclusion with these lyrics.

  9. "I'll promise to not write something like this post again if you promise not to write such a reply. :)"

    No worries, homie, i think my rapping days are 'ova'.

  10. Assalaamu'alaykum

    So, do tell, what exactly is a "dumb word"? Interestingly (at least to me), a few weeks before this post I was thinking about the hip hop genre's use of words, and it impresses me that many artists in this field use intellectual words (if we can minus the silly ones who can't help but use nonsense words after every other word).

    There are some who who even freestyle with deep lyrics.

    But where hip hop is for humour, I imagine dumb words must surely be sought. :)

  11. Wa'alaykum assalam,

    Here are some words I consider dumb: dawg, bling, ill (in the context of "cool"), dope (also in the context of "cool"), word (in the context of "agreed"), and many others.

    At least, I find it dumb when wealthy suburban kids use these words in order to grant them some credibility in the eyes of underprivileged, marginalized youth.

  12. yo, faraz, stop trying to be black.

  13. i don't like your rhyming, and i don't like your friends' follow-up beats either. disturbing.

  14. Anonymous: Can you send me some hate mail? My address is on the profile page.

  15. you don't know who this is? ha!

  16. Nope, I can't say I know who you are. Your sentence structure and concluding "Ha!" give me a hint but the fact that your comments are all near 2am Eastern time makes me think I'm wrong in my suspicion.

  17. you're bluffing.

  18. Shouldn't you be studying or something?

  19. not even close.

  20. Hmm. Well, I can only think of one other person who would successfully call me out on a bluff. In which case, you really should get to bed sooner.

  21. This was hilarious! Don't give up the day job please Faraz :D